What do God, ancient Chinese philosophy, psychics, witchcraft and Saint Joseph all have in common? These are the new tools in the real estate agent tool bag. Apparently some agents are willing to blame their unsold listings on “bad energy” and are using mystical techniques to get rid of all that negative energy to bring more ying & yang balance into their listing. While other agents don’t believe it will work, they also believe it couldn’t do any harm and are desperate enough to try it.
Some of the Popular Methods of Channeling the Supernatural Energies to your Home
An ancient Chinese philosophy that uses the laws of Heaven and Earth to help improve live by bringing positive Qi. To achieve this balance, you must bring in a Feng Shui expert to consult with about home colors, decorations, arrangement and other various methods of harmonious staging. Those who believe in Feng Shui will run away from a house that has a Feng Shui imbalance achieving negative Qi.
Spiritual House Cleansing
Houses can also contain harmful energies, noxious energies, electro-magnetic fields, and psychic sickness. Who’d want to buy a house containing all those bad energies? Psychics can cleanse these bad energies and create a positive spiritual place that will sell. Don’t know how psychics can fix my EMF emitting toaster but who am I to question the supernatural.
Apparently Wiccan chants and Pegan blessings sell houses. Who knew? You can find spells, chants, oils, spells, incense, and lots of other things to make your home sell. Of course if it doesn’t sell, you could always pull out that voodoo doll of your Realtor and stick a pin in it’s neck. Bet she’d return your call then.
God Sells Houses Too
House blessings are a tradition in my church that goes back hundreds of years. It’s not as popular today as it was many years ago, but it was customary to have your house blessed when you first moved in. Now that the real estate market has tanked, many are exploiting God’s blessing for monetary gain by blessing the house to make it sell. Bet it would sell better if you tithed the proceeds.
Saint Joseph Statue
A common practice of real estate agents is to bury a statue of Saint Joseph in your yard, head down, facing the direction you want to relocate. Legend has it, if you do this then your house will sell more quickly. It works best when placed near the for sale sign. After the house sells, dig up the statue and place it on your mantle as a way of saying thanks. In case you were wondering, Saint Joseph is the patron saint of real estate.
Supernatural Practices that Don’t Work
No one likes to see an alter with a bloody sacrificial animal carcass rotting on it during an open house tour. This practice is not widely received by the real estate community so do not sacrifice a chicken to promote your next open house.
Incense blessings in the home
Incense is best left outside. The smoke is oily-thick and it coats the walls. The putrid smells last for weeks. There’s an old rule of real estate that says it’s hard to see the benefits of a house when you’re gagging, choking and your eyes are tearing up. Also incense burnings right before an open house could get out of hand and form thick cloudy smoke that lingers in the house creating a dense fog. Incense burnings should be left to the experts.
Which Practice is Better?
So which practice works better? It would be interesting to have a home-selling competition between God, Chinese philosophers, Psychics, Wiccans, Pegans, and St. Joseph. Who do you think could sell a house quicker and for more money?